A sure sign you are in need of self love is if it bothers you when other people post photos of themselves. Or when other people celebrate themselves and their value in anyway. If other people’s self love pisses you off, all it means is that your heart is yearning for YOU to feel about YOURSELF the way THEY feel about THEMSELVES.

Last week I was at a birthday dinner with a woman who said that she hates when people post photos of themselves. She wasn’t saying this simply because she prefers landscapes; she is just very turned off by women who celebrate themselves physically in a particular way.

As the words came out of her mouth, I heard through her language into what her soul was saying: “I don’t love and accept my own body or my own image, so when I see other people that do it reminds me of lack and I feel bad… But instead of looking within, I judge, label and reject the thing that triggers my pain.”

This incident stuck with me for a number of reasons. Firstly, this sort of labeling-and-rejecting mentality is the cause of the majority of the world’s problems. Secondly, women should be lifting each other up not tearing each other down! Thirdly, EVERYTHING that triggers us or gives us a strong reaction pertaining to other people and their behavior is ALWAYS a reflection of something that is hurting within us.

I want to promote the awareness that when we make other people wrong for being who they are, we not only turning our backs on them but on ourselves as well. The world is suffering because we blame and reject other people as a way of staying comfortable and avoiding looking at our own pain and giving it the love it needs to dissolve. It’s always easier to place the blame “out there.”

What would the world look like if this were to change? How would it be if we interpreted triggers or reactionary experiences like little alarms that signal that we need to look within and love ourselves more in a particular area? What would happen to our culture if we were to ask our intuition for answers instead of condemning that which makes us uncomfortable in our external surroundings?

I am putting forth a call to action to everyone that reads this: next time you go to condemn someone else’s behavior (especially in front of other people!) stop and ask yourself: why does this thing bother me so much? What preexisting wound is the other person’s actions pouring salt in?

Then offer yourself some compassion… Especially for the part of you that is experiencing the pain. Treat yourself like a child and love the shit out of yourself. Say the words that small part of you needs to hear to feel better. Offering love to the parts of us that are hurt and quick to create separation allows them to heal and integrate. This is how we get them to go away – not through rejecting them or other people who inflame them – BUT WITH LOVE.