It is true that we women are liberated. We are highly independent and we like to claim that we don’t need anyone or anything to fulfill us. It is 2016 and we can handle everything on our own. Flat tire? No problem.
But, in my experience as a coach and as a woman myself, this fierce independence is not the entirety of what our goddess hearts crave. It is not the the full breadth of what our souls yearn for.
I have come to find that, in addition to becoming self-sufficient capable beings when we are on our own, women want to be with a man who can take control, comfort us in our pain, make us feel safe and free to let go. We want someone that we can let see beyond our “tough cookie” “boss bitch” avatars. We want to surrender.
The way our culture has grown and evolved makes it so that women spend a lot of time in their masculine: getting things done and accomplishing. We are at the coffee shops writing our mission statements, at the gym at 6am getting in our Booty Blast before work. We yearn to step into our feminine but capitalist culture demands drive and forward motion.
I see the agenda-less flow of the feminine very clearly in the men in my life: my surfer dude friends who spend their time editing video for social media and cooking delicious meals together, the mala-bead sporting homie I stood next to on line at Cafe Gratitude yesterday, sweat still glistening from ecstatic dance.
With such a paradigm shift happening between the sexes, many of the women I know feel like it’s rare to meet a man who truly embodies that strong, stalwart archetype and can make her feel like puddy in his hands while still being evolved enough to understand and respect her as an empowered woman on a mission.
I believe that the first step to take as women calling in what we want in romance is to fully take ownership of what it is that our hearts desire. I am not a fan of blanket statements and know this is a generalization, but it seems that, for most of us, what we want looks a little like this:
We want to be respected and revered as the powerful independent forces of nature that we are. We want to know that we can step out of our ambitious grown-up/big-girl persona and just surrender to our man and his love. We want to know we’re safe to let go; we want to know that he’s got us. We want to feel like we’re ours first and foremost… Then we want to be his.
Once we are clear on what we are calling in and have set our intentions we are ready to manifest. We know what we are looking for so we can identify it when we see it (him), or if we are already partnered we can now start to ask for what we want and work with our person to make it happen. Remember it doesn’t count less if you have to work or practice a bit to get what you want 🙂
Happy Tuesday everyone, please reach out with thoughts, comments and reflections. ❤️