“When you form opinions about another person, looking at him or her and saying, for instance, ‘This person is lazy, or a failure, or has terrible clothes,’ you send a message to your own subconscious that the world is a place where you had better act in certain ways if you want to be accepted. By rejecting other people through your judgments, you inform your own subconscious that you are only going to accept yourself [and be acceptable to others] under certain conditions.”
BOOM. The real explanation for why judgment of others is ALWAYS judgment of ourselves projected outwards. This quote is from one of my all-time favorite books, Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman.
I have been looking for a really strong explanation to give clients for quite sometime, around why when we judge others we are actually engaging in self-judgment, and here it is. The bottom line is that it is all about the schemas we invent for our lives: the paradigms and categories we place other people in of course then become options for those in which they could potentially place us.
These schemas legitimize our fears of being hurt and rejected because, if we can to it to them, they can do it back. In this way of living there really is something to fear… Our best bet is to tell our inner critic to fuck off no matter who it is that she’s targeting. #TRUTHBOMB